A Birthday to Forget
by JimboYokimbo
Summary: Blake convinces the rest of Team RWBY to come to Adam Taurus's Birthday Party. Hilarity ensues. [My entry to the /r/RWBY MonCon] Thank you to The Draigg for helping me out.


**Author's Note: This is an entry for the /r/RWBY MonCon. The theme was food. Enjoy.**

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><p>"Ladies and Gentlemen, the law has failed us! Those in power are sitting on their stacks of Lien and laughing as the men and women they swore to protect are being beaten and subjugated. Faunus everywhere are under the boot-heel of humankind. But that is not why we have gathered here today. Today we are here to celebrate the birthday of one of our most dedicated members, Adam Taurus!"<p>

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Adam. Happy birthday to you!" the chorus of Faunus seated around the long banquet table sang. But there were human voices in the mix too. Four to be precise, one shakier than the rest. The clamor died down and the conversation, silenced by the announcement, began to return.

"Why are we here, Blake? I thought you left the White Fang." Yang whispered in Blake's cat ear, secretly relishing the shiver she perceived running down her girlfriend's back at the unusual stimulation of her most sensitive erogenous zone. Yang had learned that particular term after a heated conversation whispered between the two late at night at the beginning of their relationship.

"I did, but Adam is a friend. He was very important to me, and besides, this wasn't supposed to be a White Fang event, just a birthday party! I don't know what happened. We'll say our goodbyes soon, and then we'll leave."

"We'd better. I don't think Weiss is very comfortable."

The two glanced concernedly at Weiss, seeing that the typically pale girl was green as a snake Faunus' scales. She was rocking back and forth, whimpering quietly, trying to look at every Faunus within a ten foot radius of her. Ruby was sitting next to her, rubbing her back and whispering in her ear soothingly.

"Indeed."

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, the birthday dinner, for the birthday boy!"

Blake shot a look at Adam, sitting at the head of the table, next to the lion-Faunus that had been speaking to the room. He was looking very uncomfortable with the attention and celebration attributed to his name. Blake knew him to be a quiet and subdued man, if a bit dramatic at times. He wanted to be the hero. The knight in shining armor. The knight couldn't have fun, that would be preposterous.

As the last boom of the Lion's voice rang around the large warehouse (strung with festive streamers and colorful pieces of construction paper adorned with White Fang symbols) and the buzz of chatter returned, the doors on the sides of the rooms opened, and dozens of chained up human servants walked out, carrying cakes, steaks, salads, and all other forms of mouth-watering foods, some with meat, some exclusively meat, some vegetarian. Blake began salivating at the smell of some fillet of fish being walked right past her by a chained up little girl whose red-rimmed and baggy eyes suggested that she had been crying her eyes out. Yang was having a staring contest with a piece of steak placed almost directly in front of her by a man with whip marks on his face and a limp.

Now Weiss was openly crying. When the Wolf Faunus to her left reached past her to grab a piece of Venison, she jumped and shrieked, burying her face into Ruby's chest. She was repeating the same phrase, over and over again. "Make the animals go away, make the animals go away, I don't want to go to the zoo, Mommy, make the animals go away…" Ruby just kept her head down and continued to stroke Weiss's back.

But Blake and Yang weren't focusing on their Teammates, they were scarfing down delicious delectables as the buzz of conversation became a roar. They forgot all thoughts of leaving the party, even as the human slaves bustled around dejectedly, being yelled at by their White Fang handlers.

"_Guys! I think we have to leave now!_" Ruby whisper-yelled across the table, unheeded by her teammates. "_Guys!_ GUYS!" she yelled louder. Finally, Yang heard her sister's cries, grabbed her head, and pushed her face into a platter of mashed potatoes. Instantly, Ruby let go of Weiss, focusing acutely on her food.

"Gah! The animals!"

Blake, Yang, and Ruby were now shoveling delicious food into their faces, while Weiss was having a meltdown. Surrounded by the same people who had killed, captured, ransomed, and protested her family. _And not to mention the literal slaves they had serving the food. And the food! It was like a spell! They didn't stop eating, not even to breathe!_

"And now, it is time for some entertainment! Adam! I know you're fond of a certain cat Faunus woman in attendance of this event tonight. I say, we make her dance for you!"

As if on command, Blake stood up, hot grease still covering her face. Her eyes were glazed and milky white. She grabbed a chicken leg off the table and walked over towards Adam, who had seemed to have lightened up from his usual withdrawn self.

Dead-eyed, gnawing at the chicken leg she had taken from the table, Blake began to give Adam what Weiss assumed was a lap-dance, gyrating her hips in front of Adam's face.

"Ruby!" Weiss whisper-yelled, shaking Ruby by her shoulders. She didn't stop eating. "RUBY!" Weiss cried. The music stopped, all the heads in the room turned to Weiss. Blake's hips continued to gyrate, Ruby and Yang continued to eat, but everything else was still. A pang of fear shot through Weiss as her eyes widened. _Oh Dust! What is this? Why did I let Blake talk me into this?_

"Ah. Weiss Schnee. I'm glad you were able to make it! Why don't you have some cake? It's delicious cake." the lion's voice boomed.

"I- I-" Weiss stammered, scared out of her wits.

"Have some cake, Ms. Schnee," the lion growled, lower, more threatening.

"O- Ok," Weiss whimpered, reaching a shaky hand towards her fork.

That was all she remembered. Now she was in her own bunk, back at beacon. It was a Saturday, so she didn't have to worry about classes. She looked around the dorm room. The familiar sag of the mattress hanging precariously above her head told her that Ruby was in her bed, she could see the lump of blankets in Blake's bed that said that she was in hers, but she didn't see any sign of Yang.

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><p>Weiss rose from her bed, stretching. She decided that a long, hot shower was in order.<p>

As the hot water steamed on her naturally cool skin, Weiss thought about the previous evening. What was in that food? Did it not affect Faunus? No, Blake was affected too. _Maybe they somehow only drugged our food. I suppose it's pretty easy to guess our favorite foods. Then they just made the waiters *shudder* bring us the drugged food. _She thought back to the girl, that poor girl, probably torn straight from her mother's loving embrace by some Faunus thugs. Those Faunus are all the same, cheating, lying, intimidating- _NO! Weiss, don't think like that! Blake is your friend, and Sun is... not in the White Fang? I hope?_

Weiss finished her shower. Dressing herself, brushing the sickly-sweet morning taste from her mouth, fixing her hair, and completing the rest of her many morning rituals, operating on autopilot, acting through instinct alone, her mind still on the troubling thoughts of what may have happened last night. It was concerning, not having control of her own mind, not being able to remember herself of the events of the previous night, no matter how hard she tried.

She was hungry. Incredibly hungry. How could she be this hungry, it was before breakfast! Right? Weiss looked at the clock on her scroll, noting that she had received a number of messages in the night. Spam, spam, Schnee family newsletter, spam, aaaaand ten from Sun. What would Sun have to say to- _TWO PM! What? It's after LUNCH? I've gotta wake the others!_

And she did just that. After much cajoling, the fearsome foursome-sans Yang-was headed down into Vale for a late, and hopefully very large, lunch.

Nobody said a word about the previous night. Weiss figured that Blake wouldn't remember, she was the first to eat the food, but Ruby was lucid for a while before her brute of a sister force-fed her the drugged potatoes. _Where is Yang anyways?_ She had no answer to that particular question.

The three teammates strode on in silence in the direction of their favorite diner. That is until Ruby broke the silence.

"Guys, I just want to say that I'm sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Why? What for?" Weiss asked, puzzled. The thought that Ruby was the one to drug their food crossed her mind, but she dismissed it. Ruby would never do something like that.

"... At the party? I got drunk. I don't remember much, but I distinctly remember a trashcan being puked into. Or at least I think I do, I really can't remember much."

"Now that you mention it, I can't really remember much of the party either. I remember a speech from a Lion Faunus, and some really good food, but that's about it. Curious, I don't usually drink," Blake added.

"No, no, no! Nobody got drunk! Ruby, I thought you would remember!" Weiss yelled, suddenly frustrated.

"Remember what, Weiss?"

"WE WERE DRUGGED!" Weiss said, slowly, as if to a child.

Ruby and Blake both stopped in their tracks, stunned looks on their faces.

"Adam wouldn't do something like that," Blake reasoned. Weiss got the feeling she was reasoning with herself as well as her teammate.

"No, that makes sense. One of the last things I remember is trying to get yours and Yang's attention, and you wouldn't listen. You just ate your food, without stopping. It was so weird, like it was mind control. Do Faunus have mind control? _Because that would be awesome,_" Ruby said.

Blake just gave Ruby a confused glance before shaking off her teammate's awkwardness. That wasn't the first time Ruby had said more than she should have.

The three walked the rest of the way in contemplative silence.

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><p>Seated at their usual corner table at the Red Sword Diner, the three friends ordered their usuals. Pancakes for Ruby, a ham and truffle omelette for Weiss, and anchovies on croissant for Blake. Despite their hunger, the three merely eyed their food suspiciously.<p>

"Ruby!" a familiar voice called out from across the nearly vacant restaurant.

"Yang!" Ruby cried in jubilation. "Where were you? Did the White Fang take you? How did you escape? _Gasp!_ Did they touch you? Yang, I'm so sorry!"

"Ruby, Ruby, I'm fine. The White Fang didn't take me. Or maybe they did, I don't really remember. All I remember is being about to leave the party, and then there was some delicious food, and then I woke up in Sun's bed."

"Sun?"

"You called?" Sun said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Gah! Sun! Where did you come from?" Ruby exclaimed.

"Just back there," Sun said, pointing a thumb behind him to a table on the other side of the room, where Neptune sat eating eggs benedict. He noticed the girls staring at him and gave a little wave.

"Why was Yang in your bed?" Blake said, calmly, but with a hint of growl in her voice.

"Let me explain. Neptune!" he called out to his blue-haired friend, "C'mere."

With everybody sitting together at one table, Sun began to explain.

"So, Neptune and I were at Adam's birthday party-" he was cut off by Blake.

"Why? You're not in the White Fang are you?"  
>"No! We were there undercover."<p>

"Yeah, we're junior detectives. We've got badges, so you know it's official," Neptune said, producing a badge from seemingly nowhere.

"Yeeeeah…" Sun said, producing his own badge and fist-bumping his friend. "Anyway, we got a tip that there was gonna be a White Fang meeting there, so we disguised ourselves as White Fang Members and snuck in."

"I was a fish. It was awesome."

"Yeah, yeah. So anyway, there we were, right, looking around, ready for trouble, but everything seems pretty ok, right? And then, this big lion fucker stands up and starts shouting some White Fang propaganda. So I take out my scroll and record the stuff, as evidence and stuff, you know. And at this point, we hadn't noticed you guys."

"You two truly are detectives," Weiss deadpanned.

"Shut up, we were doing the best we could under the circumstances. There was a fucking cult rally going on around us, we didn't have time to pick our friends out of the mix. Anyway, the food comes out, right, and we see the chained-up slaves. Can you fucking believe that? So, you know, more pictures, more evidence. They put the food down, and we don't touch it. We don't know what the fuck's in that shit, and we sure don't wanna find out. Anyway, the lion fucker stands up again-"

"Leo," Blake corrected. She knew him.

"Alright, so Leo stands up again, and he's talking about a cat Faunus. We hadn't noticed you until now. You stand up, and I swear to you this is true, you grab a chicken leg and give Adam a lap dance. And a damn good one too, by the way. You should give lessons."

Blake stared at him with a mixture of confusion and disgust. "No. No, I did not do that. I wouldn't do that."

"He's not lying, I saw it too, I hadn't eaten the food until now," Weiss said distantly.

"_Mind control,"_ Ruby whispered.

"Would you let me finish, please? So yeah, that happens, and then Ice Queen here-" Neptune hit Sun in the arm lightly, "Right, sorry, Weiss yells out in fear, and lion fuck- Leo is all scary and shit, he gets her to eat some cake. After you went out, shit got weird, well, weirder. We got pictures of the whole thing. Here," Sun pulled out his scroll and fiddled with it a bit before handing it to Weiss.

The first picture was one of Blake with her hips swaying in front of Adam's face. It looked like it had been taken in secret, concealed behind a coat or something. The next couple of pictures were of the chained human slaves. The looks of despair on their faces still discernible despite the strange camera angle. The next picture was so strange and unexpected that Weiss couldn't help but laugh.

It was a picture of Yang in a dumpster, covered in trash. Her eyes were glazed and milky, much the same as before. She was standing unfeelingly in a dumpster, gnawing on a leg of ham. The camera angle was from the back of a crowd, off to the side. Adam and Leo were both standing before the crowd, laughing like schoolgirls at their genius idea.

"Those… Those bastards!" Yang growled, flames licking the surface of her skin. "That's why my hair was so messy! Thank Dust Neptune had my kind Samurai Shampoo."

"It's unisex!" Neptune cried, shooting a dirty look at Yang.

Weiss still had Sun's scroll in her hand, and was still looking through the pictures. The next few were pictures of the same jacket that had been used to cover up the camera. Weiss assumed that Sun had been trying to conceal that he was taking pictures, and had accidentally gotten the jacket rather than the subject.

The next picture showed a gang of at least thirty Faunus at the gates to an amusement park. Leo was in the front of the pack, apparently in some kind of argument with the ticket-seller. The four members of team RWBY were all tied together on one leash, the end of which was held by Adam. They all looked the same: glassy eyed, blank, and lifeless.

"Why did he take us to an amusement park?" Weiss asked.

"I don't know, the guy as a thing for roller-coasters or something. It was a big argument, Adam didn't want to go, but Lion fu- Leo forced him to. Said he owed it to him for planning the whole thing out."

"I see."

The next couple pictures were of team RWBY on different amusement park rides. Weiss couldn't help but notice that in every picture every member of team RWBY had the exact same lifeless expression, no matter the ride. If Weiss had been on the Tilt-a-Whirl under normal circumstances, she would have been screaming at the top of her lungs, but in each picture, she was lifeless, inanimate.

Weiss scrolled through more pictures, each strange and embarrassing. Team RWBY in a pizzeria, presumably in the amusement park. Team RWBY sitting lifeless at a game stand, as Adam and Leo shot water into the open mouths of plastic fish to win the game. Team RWBY on the street outside the amusement park. Team RWBY outside a shady bar. Team RWBY inside a strip club.

"He took us to a strip club?" Blake asked.

"Yeah, I thought it was weird too. By this point, we were really the only ones still in the group, everyone else kinda left. After the strip club they decided to call it a night too, and asked us to take you home, for whatever reason. They were pretty drunk. We managed to get you back to your bunks in one piece, and we went to sleep."

"But then why was Yang in your bed, Sun?" Ruby inquired.

"Uhh, aah, I, it, um…" Sun stammered, searching for the right words. "It's complicated, you know? She was- I mean, it was-"

"Sun, what the hell?" Yang asked.

"Can we just drop it? Who knows where you would have woken up if it weren't for us! Just forget it!"

"Fine. Because you saved us, you get to drop it. But don't let it happen again."

"Guys, what's happening, I'm very confused and a little scared," Ruby squeaked.

"Nothing Ruby, it's all fine now." Yang said soothingly.

The conversation was cut off by a strange, high pitched squeak. The group looked at Weiss, the source of the noise.

"Huh? What is it?" Yang confusedly asked. Weiss simply handed her the scroll.

Taking the scroll from Weiss's hands, Yang burst out laughing. Weiss had reached the end of Sun's camera roll, and it had looped back to the beginning. The first picture on Sun's phone was one of a small, uncircumcised penis. With blue pubic hair.

"What is it?" Ruby asked, genuinely intrigued. She held out her hand to Yang, who instead handed it to Blake. Her face went completely red, and it was now that Sun realized what they were all guffawing at.

"OH SHIT! Give it back! Give it back, dammit! Shit shit shit shit! NO! Give it!" But Yang, who had taken the scroll back from Blake, would not give it back, and was holding it above her head, away from Sun's grasp.

"Dammit Sun, I thought I told you to delete that!" Neptune whispered in his Faunus friend's ear.

Now Sun had a grip on the scroll. Sun and Yang proceeded to compete in an epic tug of war, one side fighting the other for control of the scroll. But neither got it. The scroll slipped from their hands, and landed square in front of Ruby, face up.

Silence filled the table as Ruby stared at the image on the screen. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Why's it so small?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Ok, it is now 10:00 am, I finished this at 3:00. Oh god. Thank you to Draigg for helping me with this, but also no thanks for letting me get away with this. <strong>


End file.
